If I Ever Go Missing....

This morning I had someone call my work and tell me our fax machine wasn't working (even though we'd been getting faxes all morning) so I was in "receptionist" mode and I told her in my "work phone voice" that I would take a look at it and in the mean time perhaps she could scan the document she wanted to send and email it to the recipient. Then, after telling her to have a pleasant day, I walked back to the machine and turned it off and on (to do my due diligence since that is the extent of my knowledge on "taking a look at it"). However, just to be sure, I decided to avoid a possible drama and just to make sure there wasn't really a problem, to call my loving husband and have him send me a test fax from his work. He said he would and this is what I got faxed to me. My concern (besides the fact that I clearly in my husbands mind I have a very chubby face and a balding problem) was that if I ever went missing and Paul had to describe me to the police or provide them with a picture… this might be what they would get. Oddly this is something I've put a lot of thought into because of all the true crime novels I read and I think I need to pre-select some pictures for Paul to give to the police in the event that I ever do go missing because, if something awful happens to me and my face ends up on a billboard and then in some true crime novel I want to make sure I look good. I mean, it's something to think about right? I leave it up to all of you to make sure I look amazing on those missing posters.
But all joking aside, I just may have the cutest husband ever. This fax made my morning :)

A Beautiful Moment In Time.... Though Not What You'd Expect

So, I needed a little pick me up on my late lunch break and I thought… Maybe I'll head up to the temple, it's just up the street. I'll just sit and clear my head. Well I sat for awhile and felt a little better so I got up to leave and started walking back to work. After a second I reached the wood walkways that are set up so that people can walk around the construction. For any of you who have been on these, you know they are quite narrow and as I turned a corner I saw a homeless man a little taller then me but hunched down to my height and swaying side to side. He was carrying in his hands a small cardboard box (maybe he thought it was big enough to be his house who knows?). When I first saw him I was scared, we would have to touch or at least brush shoulders to walk past each other and how was I suppose to act? I was just on the temple grounds. I couldn't very well stare at him in disgust or pretend not to see him (though he was pretty drunk, I don't think he would notice either way). So, I just decided to pretend he was just any other guy that I was about to "rub shoulders" with. As I got close and we were face to face he stopped and he said "you know, if I looked like you, then I could be beautiful too" and I thought "thank you crazy drunk homeless man". Then I realized, that no offense to the temple grounds, that one comment had been the best thing I'd heard in the last few weeks.

Nobody ruin this for me by saying "he probably says that to everyone man or women" or "he was drunk, everyone looks beautiful when you're that wasted". Just let me enjoy this moment :)

A Card Board Sign and a Soap Box...

I've mentioned several times that I work down town so, obviously besides the traffic, construction and the ridiculous lack of regard for jaywalking laws j/k, there are also an abundance of homeless people. There are a couple that I see almost daily and yes, I am the kind of person that if I have a dollar in my pocket, I'll give it to them. I don't care if they spend it on booze really. The fact is, we are told that if we give we will be blessed so I don't believe that I will be denied blessings because of what my gift was spent on. I seriously doubt I will get to Heaven (well I seriously doubt that I'll get to Heaven anyway) and the Lord will say "Ummmmm, that act of service and charity didn't count because that man spent that money on alcohol." I mean, who cares really people? if you want to give, give. It all counts the same.
This feeling was only reinforced a few weeks ago and then again yesterday. You see there is a nice homeless man that I speak with that sits on the curb right outside my building and usually is reading the paper (probably checking his stocks j/k). Over the couple of years I've worked here I've given him a total of probably 2 dollars but, I always exchange some conversation with him.
Then on the way to my parking garage there is another homeless man that sits on the curb. I noticed him the first time a few weeks ago. I happened to be on my cell phone when I passed him and he said to me "spare a dollar?" I was in the middle of my phone conversation and honestly didn't know if he was talking to me or the man walking with me so I didn't reply. The homeless man was however talking to me because he said "You stuck up (Bleep)". Now for those of you that know me... I don't play the passive game. I stopped, put my phone down and looked at him. The man next to me noticed this and said "what did he just say?" and I repeated the statement and the man looked at the homeless man and said "well, I guess we know why he's begging for money and why he's clearly not very good at it". At that moment, that man was my hero and he saved me from expressing my own "unique statements" to the man. The irony to me is had I not been on the phone and had I had change in my pocket I possibly would have given it to this man but... I'm sure glad now that the situation was what it was.
I forgot about this incident, though I still saw the man over the next few weeks with uneventful occurrences (despite my occasional eye rolls) and then last night I was walking to my car and I came up to where the man was sitting. Unafraid and armed with my recently intense propensity to express rage (yes, you should all feel sorry for Paul) I was ready for anything but, instead the man stood up, came running at me with his sign, screaming "I (bleeping) hate all (bleeping) white people" the saddest thing to me seemed to be that he was in fact himself a white person (if that's the politically correct phrase to use) - he ran right past me and continued with his well though out, extremely politically correct, rantings and I realized at that moment that, that is why I just give these people money. Because lets be honest with ourselves, unless there is employment somewhere that requires insanity and the ability to display complete stupidity at any moment (wait… is the current Presidential Administration hiring?)... Alcohol is really these guys only hope and I'm okay with that.

Dressing Up for The Dodo

Well, we really didn't do much for Halloween this year. We ended up taking my nephew around for trick or treating and then we decided to get dressed up to go eat at the Dodo (of course we were downtown so the fact that we were dressed up didn't really make us look out of place). It was a lot of fun, I forgot how much fun it is to put on a little extra make-up and not be judged for it (or arrested for a mis-understanding j/k). The craziest part of the night was; ever since Paul and I got married he has said "I wish you wouldn't rat your hair up so high" and "I really hate it when you wear dark lipstick" - of course still do those things on occasion because he clearly hasn't listened to me when I've said stuff like "I wish you didn't think the side of our bed was a hamper" and "I wish you didn't assume that shoving things under the bed makes them invisible". Anyway, when I was getting dressed up I decided to not rat my hair and for-go my lipstick. I walked out expecting a whistle from Paul or at least an eyebrow raise but instead I got a "Why didn't you rat your hair up?". So, I went and ratted my hair and then came out again and he said "Aren't you going to wear lipstick?". Seriously... and they say women are confusing!

Preserving Your Dignity and Providing Some Viewing Pleasure...

Paul will try to pass off that I'm the one that loves the holidays at our house but it's just not true. He and his scouts went out for Trick or Treating for food the other night and he insisted that he had to dress up (even though, his boys all seemed to be dressed up like teenagers... which lets be honest can sometimes be the scariest thing possible). I suggested that he wear an over sized dress from DI and I could do his makeup and he could go as a girl but he said "there is no way I will ever go as a girl, I have WAY too much pride for that. Looking at these pictures I totally see what he means. These pictures are the complete representation of nothing but pride... and... you know free love, hallucinogen's, Helen Reddy and Charles Manson theology. So, good job Paul, you are right, this is much less embarrassing and definately something to be more proud of then just going as a women :) The hippies have done way more for history and man kind then women have ever done j/k Paul... you never stop amazing me and that's why I love you :)