A Visit From Death?

So, as I’ve mentioned many times, I am the receptionist at the law firm I work at down town and I have to be here before everyone else to get things unlocked and turn on the lights and machines and take the phone off night. Usually I’m not here by myself for too long, by about 8:20 or 8:30 people start to show up and on bad weather days they start coming in about 9:00. I mean our office doesn’t technically open until 8:30 and we really usually don’t start getting calls until about 9:00 but I come in to make sure we’re all ready to go and catch the few over-achievers that call super early.
Now by now many of you that actually read my blog (and the few awesome people that comment) may think me a tad bit overdramatic and you may be right but don’t judge me just yet until you hear this story… So, I’m sitting here this morning ALL alone and it’s about 8:15 and all the sudden this guy walks in and he looks like a mixture of Captain Barbosa from Pirates of the Caribbean and Milton from Office Space; he is taller and bigger and he has one eye that won’t open all the way. He walks in and hobbles right up to my desk and he’s sweating and breathing heavy so I hide my gulp and say “hi how are you?” and he responds (looking at me with his one eye) “fat and old” and I’m respond “ha ha ha(very nervous laughter)” and he starts pacing in front of my desk and I’m looking at him like ‘why are you here’ and he finally says “so I guess Scott isn’t here yet?” and I look at him and think ‘are you kidding me? ALL the offices are dark and its DEAD quiet in here, what do you think?’ but I said “nope, not yet (still holding my nervous smile)” and he said “well I was suppose to meet with him & Ryan”. “Ryan’s not here is he?” I give him the same look of wonderment and then say “no” and he says “so it’s just you?” and all the sudden I’m seeing flashes of my face on the news and the lawyers coming in to find my body (or what’s left of it) but I timidly say “yup” and he says “well unless I’m going crazy I was suppose to meet with one of them” and so I said “okay hold on” so I call Scott and tell him “your client is here, he says he has an appointment with you and Ryan” and Scott is dumbfounded and lets out this annoyed sigh and says “no, he doesn’t have an appointment, he said he might stop by sometime today but don’t worry I’ll be there in 15 minutes Janet just hold tight” so I say “sounds good” trying not to show my INTENSE discomfort and blatant FEAR!! So I tell Joe (having learned his name upon our initial meeting) that he will be here shortly and to take a seat (in the hopes that he’ll stop pacing and talking to me) and then I say “would you like some water” (since he’s sweating and breathing all heavy) and he says “yeah that’d be great” so I go get him some and he downs it right in front of me and then says “thanks for that”. I’m at a loss at this point and he keeps trying to strike up casual conversation with me he asks my name so I tell him and he says “I’ve probably talked to you before on the phone” and I said “that is a definite since I am the receptionist” and he says “oh but I’ll bet you do a lot of things don’t you?” (by this point I’m looking for what I could possibly use as a weapon) and I said “yeah, I do a few things around the office (again nervous laughter)” then he tries again and says “we use to have so many steel companies in town, do we still have any?” again I just look at him like ‘are you kidding me?’ and I say “I’m not sure, I really wouldn’t know about that”. FINALLY he sits down in the lobby and we just enjoy the completely uncomfortable silence for the next THIRTY MINUTES until Scott comes. Yeah, no one got here until 9:00. Then after he was in talking to Scott Ryan showed up and I went into his office and told him what had happened and Ryan says “He didn’t have an appointment, he didn’t even tell me he was coming in” and I said “well I had to spend thirty of the most awkward moments of my life with him and Ryan smiled and said “yeah, he’s a weird guy” and I said “yeah, you and Scott owe me big time” and he just laughed…. But ummmmm, that wasn’t a joke. I’m going to need therapy for this!